Thursday, September 25, 2008

But I was just…

She was in the office by 9.00 AM. I have never seen her coming in late, no 
matter, how late she had to sit the previous night. And in no time at all 
she settled down with the day's work.

She had an oval face with a pointed chin. Her eyebrows were long and narrow. 
Her eyes were chocolate brown. This gave her a mature and determined look. 
Occasionally, she wore glasses. She had wavy hair that hung loosely on her 
shoulders. They were not thick enough to keep untied. She made it look like 
a long ponytail, with the help of a hair band. But the most noticeable 
feature of her face was her lips. They formed a peculiar extension for her 
short and sharp nose, adding a strange beauty to her face. Her mouth was 
always partly open, this added a cute innocence to her face, and she would 
hold her lips together when
she suddenly became aware of it. She revealed pale pink gums when laughing, 
this only added to the grace she radiated.

Today, she has worn a cotton pink dress, with white floral designs. She 
looked gorgeous in it. The flat strapped leather sandals, the black leather 
wristwatch on her left hand, the single golden bangle on her right hand, the 
pearl studs on her ears, all, reflected a pink tint. They compounded the 
beauty she shone. She was not fat, nor was she lean. She was not tall, nor 
was she short. She was not fair (like all the actresses one saw in films), 
nor was she dark. There seemed to be some kind of a gentle wave of subtle 
perfection about her. She looked like a white and pink tulip artistically 
and elegantly combined into
one. Seeing her today gave me the same happiness, as it would have, if 
someone I loved dearly, gave me a tulip. She was an offering to herself!

She sits right in front of me. I sit watching her all day long, observing 
her every move. I very much love doing this, and I consider myself very 
lucky. Maybe, there were guys who were jealous of me, because of the 
position I sat in. In fact, I spend all my time in the office, looking at 
her and adoring the female she is. I think nothing else in this world can 
bring me the kind of joy and pleasure I get watching her.

It is really interesting, to notice the various expressions her face reveals 
at times. I watched her getting confused reading the design document, 
perplexed going through other's codes, exhausted preparing test cases, 
refreshed after lunch and snacks, happy reading friends' mails, her face 
lighting up when happy and annoyed when something wrong happened. I could 
tell she was reading her mails, from her widening eyes. Initially, there was 
a curiosity that filled her eyes with each new mail, she got. In the course 
of time, however, she mastered the expressionless face like those of others. 
But, her eyes still betrayed
the kind of anxiety one has when something was to be disclosed in a very 
short time. When her lips turn up to the left, it meant she was starting to 
enjoy a joke. And that was the beginning for a blooming smile. I simply 
loved her when she did that. Her brows drew up to the center of her 
forehead, if she saw something, she could not understand. Unexpected results 
of her code usually made her do that.

Today, it was something else and she was concentrating on it. The telephone 
to her left rang. It would be for the guy who sat beside her. He got a call 
at this time, everyday. She picked up the phone. "No, he isn't in office 
yet...Okay I'll tell him, Bye". She kept the receiver back in the cradle. 
She took out her glasses from her bag. She looked once at the phone, and 
then went back to reading.

After some time, a tall guy came to her and said. "You need not hurry. We 
have time till next Tuesday for the delivery. I got a mail saying so" .She 
said "That's nice", and smiled at him. A twinkle in her eye said that she 
was relieved.

She was back after lunch. Her face showed a renewed freshness. I wish, I 
could go for lunch with her, so that, I would not miss her for that amount 
of time. I wished to see the way she ate. I think, it would be very graceful 
and effortless with her slender fingers!

She checked her mails after lunch. This time she clasped her left hand over 
her mouth. She was laughing over yet another joke. And I saw her busy 
typing; would be the reply. She had her glasses on again.

It was 4.00 PM when the telephone rang again. She picked the receiver and 
said "Hello". "Yes speaking". She was listening to the other end. "But..." 
she could not complete. "Okay" she said and hung up. It was something 
serious. I could see her eyes moistening and starting to sparkle through her 
glasses. She took out a kerchief and wiped her tears. She opened the drawer 
and took a file and pushed it into her bag. And then she left.

I was probably as upset as she was about this sudden development (even if I 
didn't know the details.) Besides having taken her away from me faster 
than usual, I hated to see her upset like this. How I wished I could ask her 
what had happened. How I wished I could say 'Don't worry, everything will be 
alright'. How I wished I could touch her just this once and soothe her. How 
I wished I needn't be bound by restrictive technology that allowed us to 
communicate, but never connect, feel or touch in the truest sense..

How I wish I was something more than just an ordinary electronic gadget.

Guess I was fated to remain what I was - her PC's monitor, destined only to 
read her face, nothing less, nothing more..

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